a summary of this girl + this moment

butterflies. polynomials. the question that only you dared to ask. midnight lifechats. 1AM driving. whiteboard memories. thankfulness. Your Love. happiness. sisters (mine and yours). pumpkin pie. heartbeats. ashes for beauty. differential equations. maybes. music. apple cider. perfect autumn afternoons spent in playful conversation. don't tell me that it's never crossed your mind. the hard choices that brought me here. hazel eyes. bigger than life friendships. new friends. Sunday mornings. fleeting smiles. warm coffee cups. cinnamon sparks. Galois. safety. snuggly scarves. cats. risks. fall(ing).

i'd do the stars with you anytime ♥

o1. i'm not usually this bold. i find it curious how one glance between us can ask so many questions. who are you and what's your story? and what is it about you that makes me want to know? and i do want to know. i know what i saw; i know that you did a double take, and i know that this is definitely not just in my head; but i can't get you out of my head. i don't believe in chance. ELECTRIC EYES

o2. sweetheart: i am nobody's fool, and you are no exception. RIEMANN

o3. we've only known each other for a few months, but it feels like you've been here forever already. everything with you is so easy. first year would have been completely different if i hadn't met you. i'm totally myself when i'm with you. we know never to take each other too seriously, but you know exactly when to be serious. everything between us came so naturally; we are like-minded souls. when i am frustrated and filled with doubt about this path, you are the one i turn to, because you understand. mathematics or chemistry? MIDNIGHTS + MORNING COFFEE

o4. you're the best. i can't believe you remembered. hearing from you makes my week in a way that no one else can. we are merely ideas; words in black and white and infinite possiblities, but that's alright—words are my favourite way of expression anyway. i always wonder if we've spoken and never known it; if we've locked eyes and never understood the truths. watch that sky and think of me. someday, my dear. THE GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD

o5. sometimes i hate you. sometimes you drive me crazy with the things you say without thinking. sometimes you just make me so angry that i can't even speak. but still—when it really comes down to it, all i want is for you to find the happiness that you're searching for. i would do anything to help you on your way. ANALYZE

o6. you can do better than this. you're going to be wonderful to some girl someday. stop being so harsh on yourself. stop feeling sorry for yourself; you've got every reason to keep your chin up. i have said these things to you over and over again, and i hope that one day you will believe them, because i believe in you. i wish you could see yourself the way i see you. GOOD TO YOU

o7. you. you, with the quick wit and sense of humor and the incredible patience. you, with the big dreams and the accidentally inspirational spirit. you: my mentor, friend, teacher. thank you. throughout all the years, i could not have asked for more. you never truly realize how much you pick up from someone after being forced to spend a few hours next to them every week, but i've learned a lot from you; more than you will ever know. i admire your passion and your ability to go out there and do everything, and do it well. you are going to be great someday. i miss you already. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

o8. you are the best storyteller. we can talk about anything. we met in the most unexpected way, yet here we are, years later, still facing the world together. we're the kind of friends that can go for months without seeing each other at a time, but we pick up exactly where we left off. everything could change, but our friendship never would. i know you'll always be around, and you can count on me. i always know that i'll see you soon. TIGERS

o9. nobody amuses me like you do. i don't even care what anyone says: you are wonderful. underneath all that initial pricklyness and questionable first impressions and the fact that you occasionally make me want to slap you, you are amazing. you are hilarious and talented and as much as you try to hide it, i know you have a heart of gold. don't ever change. YOUR BIGGEST FAN

1o. i am so glad that we're back on speaking terms. i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry. i never forgot all the laughter and tears and long nights we shared and the incredible thanks i still owe to you. you always make me laugh, and i'm so glad that despite everything, we are able to forgive and rebuild this friendship. as it turns out, the laughter between us still hasn't changed. here's to hoping that it never will. MOUNTAINS STANDING

Staring Contests

“The power of a glance has been so much abused in love stories, that it has come to be disbelieved in. Few people dare now to say that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet it is in this way that love begins, and in this way only.” 

                                                                                 - Victor Hugo 


i am not above stolen grins 

and obliging the occasional reckless desire

anything to capture your attention

i just want to be in your atmosphere.

i never thought that it would come to this—

goes to show what i know.

first chance, one glance

unexpected; out of nowhere

never could i have seen it coming

goes to show what i know.

i thought it would be just once

but you proved me wrong

whether better or for worse,

it goes to show what i know.

it's not quite like me to do this

it shakes me right out of my safety net

to meet your eyes, straight-on

staring me down; a challenge?

and the question

i am afraid to ask 

this is more than the other side of the door

and more than i could have fathomed

circumstance will decide our fate—

in time

so—

dear stranger with the tentative smile,

and the bold searching stare 

thanks for turning my world upside down 

the only thing i know now is that 

i don't know anything at all

you are the best thing

that isn't mine

yet.

waiting

is going to be 

the hardest part.

for now,

i will continue

to be your best-kept secret

The Witness

It was a routine Sunday morning
Sleepy-eyed, tired hearts
Meeting once again

I was there, paralyzed
By fear and my own weakness
Fighting the demons of my own creation
Until I surrendered myself to Love
Who always makes a way

And you were there
with watchful eyes; cautious as a dove
And before my eyes, you gave yourself up to Dance—
the smallest miracle; the wish of a searching heart
I witnessed you singing with the angels
A testimony to Love
Almost bringing me to tears
At the front of a crowded room

You may not ever know how much it meant to me
To see that one small step from you
But this is my eternal wish
For you

It only took a single moment
To remind me, all over again
that Love is here; alive
and
Love
is
Now

tonight i'm going to dance for all that we've been through ♥

o1. i miss the way you drive me crazy. i miss the way you play devil's advocate like nobody's business. i miss the way that we argued over the deep, philosophical issues, but also the way that we argued over utter nonsense, and the way you made me laugh. you always kept me on my toes. i'm also intensely curious as to where you'll be in ten years. i'll see you soon. SCIENCE AND AUTOCORRECT AND FRIENDSHIP

o2. i thought i had it all figured out, but then you walked in and everything changed. suddenly i don't know anything anymore. all i know is that i want to know you better. PERFECT STRANGERS

o3. where would i be without you? you've been there literally since day two, and we've seen the craziest things happen together. someday, someone's going to realize that you're absolutely lovely—because you absolutely are. and i promise that i'll be around to say "i told you so" and remind you that sometimes things don't work out only because there really are better things in store. lifelong friends are few, but i know that we're for real. 092008D2P5MPM1D1

o4. if there ever was someone who could pass as my twin, in every sense, it would be you. you understand me so completely in a way that no one else does, because we're two sides of the same coin—we are both fighters to the core. you've always been there for me, and you know i will always be there for you. if the concept of soul sisters did exist, i think you would be mine. also, you're a fabulous writer. MAKER OF MEMORIES

o5. wow, i'm sorry. we fought over the biggest thing, and i still don't know if i would have done it differently, but i'm sorry for the way it ended. i miss the simplicity we had before it all happened, because at one point in time we really were best friends. don't you think i ever forgot. you saw me through the worst; you know my story in a way no one else does. looking back on the past few years, all my best memories are filled with you. wherever you are, i hope you're having the time of your life. OUR HAPPY ENDING

o6. my dear, you are talented, intelligent, brilliant, hilarious, charming—and can absolutely do so much better. BEST INTENTIONS

o7. what is with us? i don't even know. no words can really capture who we are to each other. when we talk, we stumble and we trip over words because we can talk about everything and nothing—forever—and still feel like we haven't said it all, or said enough. i get bored easily, but you never bore me. you've changed me more than anyone else, ever. and after all the pain we put each other through, it sounds crazy, but i wouldn't change a thing. i hope we'll always be able to say hello. INDESCRIBABLE

o8. can i just be you? seriously. i don't know how you walk around being so perfect all the time, but i want to do it too! RED LIPSTICK

o9. i couldn't pick you out of a lineup. i wouldn't know it was you if you walked past me on the street. but i know what makes you laugh; i know your hopes and dreams, and i know that you're walking the line. just knowing that you're out there brightens my day sometimes. i love that we watch the same sky. i know that we didn't meet by chance, and i know that it's been forever since we last saw each other. but to me, you're more than a memory, and i can see it now. OFF BY HEART

1o. you're wonderful. you made things change; you taught me that i can do better. you taught me that i deserve better. you taught me that chivalry is alive. you do it right. i don't know what the future holds, but all the time i think how lucky i am to have you in my life; right here, right now. PUZZLE PIECES

Of Wishes and Weaknesses

     She wears her dreams like the jewelry they are; elegant, dramatic, captivating. They are subtle; the only weakness in her armor, the one easily missed. She neither shatters nor creates illusion, but instead allows the world to see her the way they wish.

     He walks in step with her, though she does not know it.

     He creates illusion. He builds grand castle walls with the vines cascading over the top; he creates a moat to surround his fortress. He has drawn the line here. The theory is that nothing ever gets too close, and nothing escapes from within... but as we all know, theories are often proven wrong, as he will learn soon enough.

     They are the ones that walk by moonlight, when the universe is asleep and the stars begin to fall. They seek the place where the fire and water meet, where dreams collide and all else fails to exist. These are the careful dreamers, the ones that single-mindedly search for the infinite, elusive possibilities of the world.

     So they will walk in two opposite directions by the guide of a natural satellite until they reach the place where the very first glimpse of dawn appears; until they find their way home. It is here that they will finally meet. These are the dreamers, those who see the dawn before the rest of the world. 

“A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.” – Oscar Wilde