Staring Contests

“The power of a glance has been so much abused in love stories, that it has come to be disbelieved in. Few people dare now to say that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet it is in this way that love begins, and in this way only.” 

                                                                                 - Victor Hugo 


i am not above stolen grins 

and obliging the occasional reckless desire

anything to capture your attention

i just want to be in your atmosphere.

i never thought that it would come to this—

goes to show what i know.

first chance, one glance

unexpected; out of nowhere

never could i have seen it coming

goes to show what i know.

i thought it would be just once

but you proved me wrong

whether better or for worse,

it goes to show what i know.

it's not quite like me to do this

it shakes me right out of my safety net

to meet your eyes, straight-on

staring me down; a challenge?

and the question

i am afraid to ask 

this is more than the other side of the door

and more than i could have fathomed

circumstance will decide our fate—

in time

so—

dear stranger with the tentative smile,

and the bold searching stare 

thanks for turning my world upside down 

the only thing i know now is that 

i don't know anything at all

you are the best thing

that isn't mine

yet.

waiting

is going to be 

the hardest part.

for now,

i will continue

to be your best-kept secret

tonight i'm going to dance for all that we've been through ♥

o1. i miss the way you drive me crazy. i miss the way you play devil's advocate like nobody's business. i miss the way that we argued over the deep, philosophical issues, but also the way that we argued over utter nonsense, and the way you made me laugh. you always kept me on my toes. i'm also intensely curious as to where you'll be in ten years. i'll see you soon. SCIENCE AND AUTOCORRECT AND FRIENDSHIP

o2. i thought i had it all figured out, but then you walked in and everything changed. suddenly i don't know anything anymore. all i know is that i want to know you better. PERFECT STRANGERS

o3. where would i be without you? you've been there literally since day two, and we've seen the craziest things happen together. someday, someone's going to realize that you're absolutely lovely—because you absolutely are. and i promise that i'll be around to say "i told you so" and remind you that sometimes things don't work out only because there really are better things in store. lifelong friends are few, but i know that we're for real. 092008D2P5MPM1D1

o4. if there ever was someone who could pass as my twin, in every sense, it would be you. you understand me so completely in a way that no one else does, because we're two sides of the same coin—we are both fighters to the core. you've always been there for me, and you know i will always be there for you. if the concept of soul sisters did exist, i think you would be mine. also, you're a fabulous writer. MAKER OF MEMORIES

o5. wow, i'm sorry. we fought over the biggest thing, and i still don't know if i would have done it differently, but i'm sorry for the way it ended. i miss the simplicity we had before it all happened, because at one point in time we really were best friends. don't you think i ever forgot. you saw me through the worst; you know my story in a way no one else does. looking back on the past few years, all my best memories are filled with you. wherever you are, i hope you're having the time of your life. OUR HAPPY ENDING

o6. my dear, you are talented, intelligent, brilliant, hilarious, charming—and can absolutely do so much better. BEST INTENTIONS

o7. what is with us? i don't even know. no words can really capture who we are to each other. when we talk, we stumble and we trip over words because we can talk about everything and nothing—forever—and still feel like we haven't said it all, or said enough. i get bored easily, but you never bore me. you've changed me more than anyone else, ever. and after all the pain we put each other through, it sounds crazy, but i wouldn't change a thing. i hope we'll always be able to say hello. INDESCRIBABLE

o8. can i just be you? seriously. i don't know how you walk around being so perfect all the time, but i want to do it too! RED LIPSTICK

o9. i couldn't pick you out of a lineup. i wouldn't know it was you if you walked past me on the street. but i know what makes you laugh; i know your hopes and dreams, and i know that you're walking the line. just knowing that you're out there brightens my day sometimes. i love that we watch the same sky. i know that we didn't meet by chance, and i know that it's been forever since we last saw each other. but to me, you're more than a memory, and i can see it now. OFF BY HEART

1o. you're wonderful. you made things change; you taught me that i can do better. you taught me that i deserve better. you taught me that chivalry is alive. you do it right. i don't know what the future holds, but all the time i think how lucky i am to have you in my life; right here, right now. PUZZLE PIECES

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     “Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? Put your hand on a stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with that special girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.”

                                                                                   – Albert Einstein

     Have you ever spilled your guts to a perfect stranger? That’s chemistry.

     Have you ever been drawn to someone for inexplicable reasons—and it was nothing they could have said or done? That’s chemistry.

     Sometimes you meet someone and you just know. Sometimes you meet somebody and the pieces start to fall together in a way you never could have forseen. Sometimes you meet somebody and they see right through all your walls and mirrors and illusions that you put up to deflect others, and they read you like an open book. That’s chemistry.

     And like all chemistry, this chemistry has consequences—mostly in the form of reactions. As humans, we behave no differently than atoms at the lowest level—we are completely powerless against attraction beyond our control.

     Except this chemistry is unique because there are no laws that govern it. It moves freely; dances of its own accord; it is unbounded by the gravity and the science that defines worldly existence. It picks and chooses its time and place with no regard for the past; it is undefined—it is perhaps the greatest mystery of our own souls.

crazier things have happened

I think first years fall in love so easily because they are perfectly, uniquely set up to do so. Everyone (sort of) went off to university and fell in love (or something vaguely resembling it), and I think I can see why. They move to a new city where they barely know anyone, and they fall in love with nearly perfect strangers and big illusions because they need something to stabilize themselves. They're uniquely vulnerable, and they search and yearn for something to be attached to when everything else has changed. But maybe that's the most innocent kind of love of all; they want nothing more than love itself, which just so happens manifest itself in mystery and charm; wonder and stability; in first times and strangers who just so happen to be in the right place at the right time.

And I speak as if I'm detached, but I'm not. Not in the least. I might still be in the same city, but everything has changed. I am one of them, and that's how I know.

To each other, we are perfect strangers.
To each other, we are perfect.