Sunrise (Revelations)

I wrote this short fiction piece around this time last year for a class, and it's been on my mind ever since. Here's finally finding the confidence to publish it. 

     I should not be here.

     Ladies don’t wander strange, beautiful, sparkling cities at night by themselves. Ladies don’t traipse around with strangers until daybreak. They don’t. But I am not interested in convention at the moment.

     He can go to hell.

The Heart's Map

They were drunk.

But curiously enough, they hadn’t had anything to drink all night.

“What time is it?” she asked. 

He tapped his watch, its numbers glowing in the early morning darkness. “Five o’clock,” She winced, willing the time to pass slower—fighting dawn. 

They sat in silence, watching the moonlight glittering on the dark water. The city was occasionally bitingly cold despite the fact that it was July. She was still in her red tank top and skirt from last night— clothes that advertised her non-local status—topped off with his five-sizes-too-large-for-her cardigan. 

Like the tourist she was, she had arrived early at the bar, forgetting that the French were notoriously, fashionably late. She had found herself alone with only a scowling bartender and a stranger. The latter was playing the piano on stage, totally oblivious to her arrival—or the presence of anyone else around at all. She had turned away, feeling like an intruder on an intimate moment. 

But soon enough, she had found herself swept onto the dance floor by a stranger with an unapologetic grin and confident rhythm. She had been about to extricate herself, when she realized he was the boy from the piano. “I’ve been looking for you. I thought you’d left,” he told her in an American accent—a sound she had missed since leaving New York.  

And that was how Isabella and Felix found themselves walking hand in hand on the streets of Paris, drinking each other in. 

He was a summer student at Le Cordon Bleu. She was an American tourist. 

They were perfect strangers with captivating chemistry.

She would be on a flight halfway across the world in twelve hours. 

The summer air was breathtaking, yet the only way to breathe. They had watched as a Parisian night transformed into morning—a suffocating bar had turned into a patio—a dimly-lit coffee shop—a walk along the Seine. Felix asked her where she was from—and it escalated into each of them spilling their guts to a nearly perfect stranger; intoxicated. 

The sun was rising on the water, heralding another day. Isabella could feel their time together slipping away with every ray of daylight. How ironic that such beauty brought misery. She blinked back tears. She dropped his hand. Felix turned to her, millions of unanswered questions and unwritten promises in his eyes. 

“I don’t want to miss you,” she whispered. She leaned in, breathing him in, and kissed his cheek in one fleeting moment. 

“Wait—"

But she was gone. 

~

Felix walked the path to his temporary home. If he hadn’t been able to feel her unforgettable kiss, he would have wondered if it were a dream. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, missing the warmth of her touch. Startled, he pulled a scrap of paper from his pocket. 

7 Garden Street

America 

Meet me in the city that never sleeps.

Hopefully yours,

Isabella Laurentia

i'd do the stars with you anytime ♥

o1. i'm not usually this bold. i find it curious how one glance between us can ask so many questions. who are you and what's your story? and what is it about you that makes me want to know? and i do want to know. i know what i saw; i know that you did a double take, and i know that this is definitely not just in my head; but i can't get you out of my head. i don't believe in chance. ELECTRIC EYES

o2. sweetheart: i am nobody's fool, and you are no exception. RIEMANN

o3. we've only known each other for a few months, but it feels like you've been here forever already. everything with you is so easy. first year would have been completely different if i hadn't met you. i'm totally myself when i'm with you. we know never to take each other too seriously, but you know exactly when to be serious. everything between us came so naturally; we are like-minded souls. when i am frustrated and filled with doubt about this path, you are the one i turn to, because you understand. mathematics or chemistry? MIDNIGHTS + MORNING COFFEE

o4. you're the best. i can't believe you remembered. hearing from you makes my week in a way that no one else can. we are merely ideas; words in black and white and infinite possiblities, but that's alright—words are my favourite way of expression anyway. i always wonder if we've spoken and never known it; if we've locked eyes and never understood the truths. watch that sky and think of me. someday, my dear. THE GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD

o5. sometimes i hate you. sometimes you drive me crazy with the things you say without thinking. sometimes you just make me so angry that i can't even speak. but still—when it really comes down to it, all i want is for you to find the happiness that you're searching for. i would do anything to help you on your way. ANALYZE

o6. you can do better than this. you're going to be wonderful to some girl someday. stop being so harsh on yourself. stop feeling sorry for yourself; you've got every reason to keep your chin up. i have said these things to you over and over again, and i hope that one day you will believe them, because i believe in you. i wish you could see yourself the way i see you. GOOD TO YOU

o7. you. you, with the quick wit and sense of humor and the incredible patience. you, with the big dreams and the accidentally inspirational spirit. you: my mentor, friend, teacher. thank you. throughout all the years, i could not have asked for more. you never truly realize how much you pick up from someone after being forced to spend a few hours next to them every week, but i've learned a lot from you; more than you will ever know. i admire your passion and your ability to go out there and do everything, and do it well. you are going to be great someday. i miss you already. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

o8. you are the best storyteller. we can talk about anything. we met in the most unexpected way, yet here we are, years later, still facing the world together. we're the kind of friends that can go for months without seeing each other at a time, but we pick up exactly where we left off. everything could change, but our friendship never would. i know you'll always be around, and you can count on me. i always know that i'll see you soon. TIGERS

o9. nobody amuses me like you do. i don't even care what anyone says: you are wonderful. underneath all that initial pricklyness and questionable first impressions and the fact that you occasionally make me want to slap you, you are amazing. you are hilarious and talented and as much as you try to hide it, i know you have a heart of gold. don't ever change. YOUR BIGGEST FAN

1o. i am so glad that we're back on speaking terms. i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry. i never forgot all the laughter and tears and long nights we shared and the incredible thanks i still owe to you. you always make me laugh, and i'm so glad that despite everything, we are able to forgive and rebuild this friendship. as it turns out, the laughter between us still hasn't changed. here's to hoping that it never will. MOUNTAINS STANDING

First Year Revelations

A collection of lessons I've learned from first year. A lot of conjecture on various university experiences, including but not limited to: mathematics, coffee, smiles, pseudophilosophy and love (or something resembling it). 

o1. Anyone who says math is about numbers is absolutely lying. There are no numbers in math, with the exception of 0 and possibly 1.

o2. The only acceptable letters in mathematics are x, y, z, a, b, f (as in f(x)), i and j. Anything else is absolutely off-limits.

o3. It's okay to change your mind.

o4. Everybody thinks they know what they want, but few people actually know. Realizing how little you know is the first step to enlightenment.

o5. When your new professor says "I do not discuss grades over email" or "these assignments should be treated as take-home exams", run. Very far.

o6. Never underestimate the power of a smile.

o7. Whether it's an all-nighter, insomnia, a hangover—coffee really is the answer to all your problems.

o8. Nobody knows anything about true love at 18, 19, 22, whatever. But it's fun to hypothesize, and you can get close enough to the real thing for all practical purposes.

o9. You can write something amazing and your professor will tear it to pieces because they are a hipster who is bitter over being rejected by countless literary magazines. Don't let them sway you.

1o. Bad ideas are the most memorable ones, and will result in the best stories to tell. Ask me about the time I pranked my linear algebra TA on Valentine's Day.

11. Ambition is one of the most attractive traits in any given person.

12. So is passion.

13. Being nice to the people working on campus will get you everywhere.

14. You should probably buy that textbook in September. It will be $150 well spent, and if you don't, you will regret it in April when you're staring at the poorly-scanned .pdf version you downloaded on your computer in an attempt to be frugal.

15. Student councils run a lot more things around campus than you could ever imagine.

16. The fact that the professor standing at the front of the room is an absolutely awful teacher and you occasionally doubt his sanity does not change the fact that he is probably completely brilliant beyond your current comprehension. It's easy to forget that our professors are some of the top minds in their field worldwide.

17. You will lose touch with the people who said "forever", and that is okay. You will also figure out who your lifelong friends really are.

18. You can get a lot of free food on campus if you know where to look.

19. Know your stuff if you're going to get into an argument over it with the professor in front of your entire lecture. Know it very, very well.

2o. Your campus will provide you with countless once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. Take advantage of them.

21. You will despise your field of study at some point or another. It is inevitable.

22. Taking a chance and smiling at the stranger you've been locking eyes with all over campus is never something you will regret.

23. Western is a big place when you're searching for somebody, and a small place when you want to avoid somebody.

24. You will wonder what you're doing with your life and seriously doubt your choice of major at least once. If you don't, you're doing it wrong. Bonus points for an existential crisis.

25. Do what you love. This is harder than it sounds.

26. Riding boots will make any outfit look more put-together.

27. There are a lot of brilliant minds at university, and also a lot of not-so-brilliant minds at university. Which is which may surprise you.

28. Every other faculty is underrated.

29. Raw talent only gets you so far; the rest is hard work. Never forget that.

3o. Good storytelling is an invaluable skill and talent. Learn it.

31. Everyone here has something to teach you, whether they are your professor, a classmate, a stranger or a friend. Be open to learning.

32. "I don't know" is, occasionally, the only right answer.

33. Being a mathematics major comes with an accidental minor in the Greek alphabet.

34. After a while, campus begins to feel like home. Like when you spend twelve-hour days there.

35. Sometimes all you can do is live life one day at a time and stop planning the future. Tomorrow could change everything forever.

36. You really can do it all—with many cups of coffee.

37. Despite all the early mornings, late nights and stressful weeks, someday you're going to miss this—so make it all count.

crazier things have happened

I think first years fall in love so easily because they are perfectly, uniquely set up to do so. Everyone (sort of) went off to university and fell in love (or something vaguely resembling it), and I think I can see why. They move to a new city where they barely know anyone, and they fall in love with nearly perfect strangers and big illusions because they need something to stabilize themselves. They're uniquely vulnerable, and they search and yearn for something to be attached to when everything else has changed. But maybe that's the most innocent kind of love of all; they want nothing more than love itself, which just so happens manifest itself in mystery and charm; wonder and stability; in first times and strangers who just so happen to be in the right place at the right time.

And I speak as if I'm detached, but I'm not. Not in the least. I might still be in the same city, but everything has changed. I am one of them, and that's how I know.

To each other, we are perfect strangers.
To each other, we are perfect.