Kevin

dear, friend -- if i may,
i know it's been a long while since we've spoken
since a hello has crossed this space
but i, i have never thought of you in any other light

dear, friend -- i thought of you last week
walking along the harbour, where we used to watch the ships
and you would tell me about how you wanted to be part of them
a traveller, adventurer -- hero, as the ones who came before

friend, you called me the night you made your choice
and told of the way your sister cried, and your mother screamed,
and your father somberly said he admired your bravery
and i, too, cried -- and screamed -- and did all i could to change your mind

and friend, i think of you, watching the same sunrises
but from greater heights and deeper depths and further plains
about your laughter across the miles, and the way you never let on about
that weight that you carry on your shoulders so effortlessly

and i, i will forgive you every time that you miss a coffee date
and i will understand, every holiday when you don't come home
because you're busy out there wandering the country and keeping it safe

they, they will call you comrade
and one day, i'm sure of it, they will call you commander
but i, i will always call you "friend"

i'd do the stars with you anytime ♥

o1. i'm not usually this bold. i find it curious how one glance between us can ask so many questions. who are you and what's your story? and what is it about you that makes me want to know? and i do want to know. i know what i saw; i know that you did a double take, and i know that this is definitely not just in my head; but i can't get you out of my head. i don't believe in chance. ELECTRIC EYES

o2. sweetheart: i am nobody's fool, and you are no exception. RIEMANN

o3. we've only known each other for a few months, but it feels like you've been here forever already. everything with you is so easy. first year would have been completely different if i hadn't met you. i'm totally myself when i'm with you. we know never to take each other too seriously, but you know exactly when to be serious. everything between us came so naturally; we are like-minded souls. when i am frustrated and filled with doubt about this path, you are the one i turn to, because you understand. mathematics or chemistry? MIDNIGHTS + MORNING COFFEE

o4. you're the best. i can't believe you remembered. hearing from you makes my week in a way that no one else can. we are merely ideas; words in black and white and infinite possiblities, but that's alright—words are my favourite way of expression anyway. i always wonder if we've spoken and never known it; if we've locked eyes and never understood the truths. watch that sky and think of me. someday, my dear. THE GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD

o5. sometimes i hate you. sometimes you drive me crazy with the things you say without thinking. sometimes you just make me so angry that i can't even speak. but still—when it really comes down to it, all i want is for you to find the happiness that you're searching for. i would do anything to help you on your way. ANALYZE

o6. you can do better than this. you're going to be wonderful to some girl someday. stop being so harsh on yourself. stop feeling sorry for yourself; you've got every reason to keep your chin up. i have said these things to you over and over again, and i hope that one day you will believe them, because i believe in you. i wish you could see yourself the way i see you. GOOD TO YOU

o7. you. you, with the quick wit and sense of humor and the incredible patience. you, with the big dreams and the accidentally inspirational spirit. you: my mentor, friend, teacher. thank you. throughout all the years, i could not have asked for more. you never truly realize how much you pick up from someone after being forced to spend a few hours next to them every week, but i've learned a lot from you; more than you will ever know. i admire your passion and your ability to go out there and do everything, and do it well. you are going to be great someday. i miss you already. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

o8. you are the best storyteller. we can talk about anything. we met in the most unexpected way, yet here we are, years later, still facing the world together. we're the kind of friends that can go for months without seeing each other at a time, but we pick up exactly where we left off. everything could change, but our friendship never would. i know you'll always be around, and you can count on me. i always know that i'll see you soon. TIGERS

o9. nobody amuses me like you do. i don't even care what anyone says: you are wonderful. underneath all that initial pricklyness and questionable first impressions and the fact that you occasionally make me want to slap you, you are amazing. you are hilarious and talented and as much as you try to hide it, i know you have a heart of gold. don't ever change. YOUR BIGGEST FAN

1o. i am so glad that we're back on speaking terms. i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry. i never forgot all the laughter and tears and long nights we shared and the incredible thanks i still owe to you. you always make me laugh, and i'm so glad that despite everything, we are able to forgive and rebuild this friendship. as it turns out, the laughter between us still hasn't changed. here's to hoping that it never will. MOUNTAINS STANDING

Innocent

     It is always springtime. In fact, it was right around this time every year. 
 

     The days stay untouched by time. The details are unclear and the memories are faded along the edges, but the time and place are always familiar.

     With the perpetual rain comes an inevitable shower of whirligigs. “Helicopters,” we called them. The maple trees produce their fruit in the form of keys which spin to the earth every April in torrents. It is an almost majestic dance—they flutter and twirl on their way down, often just barely eluding our childish grasp. I think their elusive nature drew us in. Children always like to chase things, and we were no exception. So we would chase without abandon, because we didn’t know to fear the world yet. 

     I lied when I told you that my mother said that successfully catching the falling maple keys would allow us one wish, you know. I just wanted to tell you something wonderful so that you might play with me at recess. Maybe six-year-old you saw right through six-year-old me. Maybe he didn’t—and maybe someday I’ll find out. But if you did, you didn’t care. We chased them with childish dedication, and we wished like we really did believe in miracles. To this day, I still do. 

     In our six-year-old minds, we thought that it would be good idea to plant a seed from the keys in the sandbox of the school playground. We nurtured that dream every day, making sure our little patch of sand was always properly watered. Unfortunately, we may have gotten a little ahead of ourselves when we dug it back up to make sure that it was still there. But that was my first encounter with a lesson on patience—and biology.  You have to keep faith in the things that you cannot see. 

     So imagine my surprise when I got your letter out of the blue, eleven years later, asking me if I remembered you. I asked how you thought I could ever forget. My perspective has not changed since those days. Though I have grown up, I am still the girl who searches for beauty in the broken and romance in the ordinary. I still want to chase dreams and make wishes with all the innocence in the world. Some would inevitably call me naïve; childish; disillusioned—yet I would not change a thing, because those spring days with you remind me to look at the world with eyes unclouded by the jadedness that comes with age. Childlike perspective is like looking at photographs through perfect glass. 

     Right now, you are just an idea; merely a passing dream. I wouldn’t know it was you if you walked past me on the street. Perhaps you are the stranger that I unwittingly shared a smile with today, or the boy that I passed by without a second thought. But it is dizzyingly mesmerizing to think that we watch the same sky every night. And so I will watch that sky and hope you are doing the same; that the simple action might connect us across the many miles. 

     The world could be winter, but it is forever springtime in my heart.

tonight i'm going to dance for all that we've been through ♥

o1. i miss the way you drive me crazy. i miss the way you play devil's advocate like nobody's business. i miss the way that we argued over the deep, philosophical issues, but also the way that we argued over utter nonsense, and the way you made me laugh. you always kept me on my toes. i'm also intensely curious as to where you'll be in ten years. i'll see you soon. SCIENCE AND AUTOCORRECT AND FRIENDSHIP

o2. i thought i had it all figured out, but then you walked in and everything changed. suddenly i don't know anything anymore. all i know is that i want to know you better. PERFECT STRANGERS

o3. where would i be without you? you've been there literally since day two, and we've seen the craziest things happen together. someday, someone's going to realize that you're absolutely lovely—because you absolutely are. and i promise that i'll be around to say "i told you so" and remind you that sometimes things don't work out only because there really are better things in store. lifelong friends are few, but i know that we're for real. 092008D2P5MPM1D1

o4. if there ever was someone who could pass as my twin, in every sense, it would be you. you understand me so completely in a way that no one else does, because we're two sides of the same coin—we are both fighters to the core. you've always been there for me, and you know i will always be there for you. if the concept of soul sisters did exist, i think you would be mine. also, you're a fabulous writer. MAKER OF MEMORIES

o5. wow, i'm sorry. we fought over the biggest thing, and i still don't know if i would have done it differently, but i'm sorry for the way it ended. i miss the simplicity we had before it all happened, because at one point in time we really were best friends. don't you think i ever forgot. you saw me through the worst; you know my story in a way no one else does. looking back on the past few years, all my best memories are filled with you. wherever you are, i hope you're having the time of your life. OUR HAPPY ENDING

o6. my dear, you are talented, intelligent, brilliant, hilarious, charming—and can absolutely do so much better. BEST INTENTIONS

o7. what is with us? i don't even know. no words can really capture who we are to each other. when we talk, we stumble and we trip over words because we can talk about everything and nothing—forever—and still feel like we haven't said it all, or said enough. i get bored easily, but you never bore me. you've changed me more than anyone else, ever. and after all the pain we put each other through, it sounds crazy, but i wouldn't change a thing. i hope we'll always be able to say hello. INDESCRIBABLE

o8. can i just be you? seriously. i don't know how you walk around being so perfect all the time, but i want to do it too! RED LIPSTICK

o9. i couldn't pick you out of a lineup. i wouldn't know it was you if you walked past me on the street. but i know what makes you laugh; i know your hopes and dreams, and i know that you're walking the line. just knowing that you're out there brightens my day sometimes. i love that we watch the same sky. i know that we didn't meet by chance, and i know that it's been forever since we last saw each other. but to me, you're more than a memory, and i can see it now. OFF BY HEART

1o. you're wonderful. you made things change; you taught me that i can do better. you taught me that i deserve better. you taught me that chivalry is alive. you do it right. i don't know what the future holds, but all the time i think how lucky i am to have you in my life; right here, right now. PUZZLE PIECES