spellbound(ed)*

lately my mind has been on math.
but funny enough, i've been inspired by
a certain mathematician that i recently met,
to come to a particular conclusion:
talent enchants.
it captivates; it commands attention.
i don't care what you love,
but i love that you love it.
i love that it keeps you awake at night, thinking—
flushed with the breathlessness of ambition;
reeling with dreams and plans.
few things in the world are as compelling
as someone who is madly passionate about their craft,
whatever that happens to be—
words, music, art, math, faith; your choice.
talent takes an ordinary moment and
creates something extraordinary;
perhaps the most flawless charm of all,
a gift from the most divine,
driving humanity to chase beauty beyond ourselves—
captivating

*no, i haven't lost my mind. this is a math joke.

LET NOT THE THINGS OF THIS WORLD EVER SWAY ME

     It's not about them. It's not about any of this.

     But God, it's about You and I.

     And I'm sorry that I ever let myself forget that, because wow, I've been so caught up in the world and all its useless drama. The affairs of man are worthless—they will fade into nothing soon enough, and none of them will matter when we're standing before You. But God, I know that Your affairs will last all eternity—which is a long time. And I want to spend it with You.

     So would you break my heart from the world? Would you break my heart from what breaks yours? Would you break me free of this hatred and evil that threatens me daily; would you take it all and replace it with love? Would you show me how to love like you have loved me? Because this is my struggle, but I know I don't have to face it alone.

     And I'm thinking about it and I'm realizing that I'm so unworthy—of Your love, of the blessings you pour out on me daily, of the salvation that you've given so freely. Each day is a battle. When I give in to hatred and anger with that which does not even warrant a minute of my time, that's when I fall. When I let myself get caught up in the world and when I slip and forget that it's always, only, ever all about You, that's when I fall. I'm just thankful that each time, You are there to catch me.

     Would you rid me of myself, of the world in which I don't even belong?

     Because I want to know You and meet you face to face. I want to sing with the angels and praise You for all eternity. So I don't care about anything of this—all I need is You. This is about You and I, forever.

     the cross before me, the world behind 

that summer will always belong to you

This has been a long time coming.

This time last year. Who knew that music would take me back there so easily? I heard that song, and it, combined with these late summer nights, has reminded me just why it all happened in the first place. But this time, I'm not bitter over it.

Because yes, I remember those nights. I remember that one night, and suddenly those memories feel like they were yesterday.  

Every time I listen to Tonight by FM Static, I still want to cry; just like the first time I heard it.

Love Me Like That. This Moment. Prove You Wrong. By Your Side. Crush. Good to You. Because you were so good to me, even though I didn't deserve it.

It was only a summer; fleeting moments; snippets of memory that resurface here and there when that song comes on. But I'm only realizing now that it wasn't a mistake; it was a lesson learned. And I'm just beginning to realize now that I don't regret it. Not anymore. I just might cherish it.

We're exactly where we're supposed to be. But don't think that I forgot about you, because I never will, even though at one point I tried to. And I'm sure you did the same.

I just wanted to say thank you for the memories. 

And finally, finally, finally: I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry.

Subsisting on Caffeine

Subsisting on caffeine
Unable to fall asleep
Because chances are
My mind will be busy
With the things I tell myself
Not to worry about

I know it's not healthy
But sleep isn't a priority
As the minutes tick by
I am always preoccupied
With dreams and wishes and things that gleam
Perhaps there is more to this sorrowful scene

Write a sestina, sing a song
Where will that get me?
My math homework is wrong
Too many vectors, I can't deal
With the consequences
My fate they will seal

So I will sit here in silence
As the screen stares back, blank
I may be a disciple of science
But I don't understand chemistry
I am drowning in the memory of you and me
So tomorrow morning,
I will subsist on caffeine

Pathfinding

"I could take steps on this moon or that cloud,"
- LIGHTS, "Fourth Dimension"

     I could take steps on this moon or that cloud.
     I don't want to slip, though. That would be dangerous. Should I play it safe? Oh, I should calculate the trajectory of that comet before I make a move. Wouldn't want to run into it or anything.
     Hm. What is the distance from here to that moon? Perhaps a lightyear or two. Well, that's doable.
     The parallax of this asteroid is not helping with the spinning of my thoughts. I need to focus. My field of view is slowly being blocked by the orbit of that moon. Stupid Jupiter, with all those moons!
     What about that black hole over there by that supernova? Might be a bit of a drop, though. I'm not sure about that one.
     Alright, this cloud. Simple enough. I jump, and—

     Game over.