High School, Not Your Highness

     I like playing dress-up as much as the next female does. I get it. Every girl wants to wear a gorgeous dress and feel like a princess, and I have nothing against that. However, I have a problem with creating a huge consumer-driven event and then using it as a venue to fulfill said dream.

     The main problem I have with prom is the conspicuous consumption taking place, and the overall self-centered attitude that it embodies. You would think that teenagers bordering on adulthood would be able to think about a world that is greater than themselves, but prom seems to defy this illusion. Prom is, in fact, the highest symbol of teenage egocentric self-absorption.

     Prom is self-indulgent and narcissistic on all levels. Though it may seem like a small-scale issue, consider the math.

     1. The average prom dress costs $200-300 (give or take a couple hundred dollars). Let’s say the average graduating class has 100 females, and each of them buys a dress for the occasion. $200 x 100 = $20,000

     2. They must then pay for shoes, hair, nails, corsage/boutonniere, limousine rental, etc. Let’s average this at $50. $50 x 100 = $5,000

     3. The average male will rent a tuxedo/buy a shirt/pants/whatever for prom. Let’s go with an average cost of $100 (thanks, Google!). Assuming that there are 100 males in a graduating class, $100 x 100 = 10,000

     4. The average cost of a prom ticket is around $60. Let us say that the average graduating class consists of 200 students. $60 x 200 = $12,000

     Now, let us add up all these expenses.
     20,000 + 5,000 + 10,000 + 12,000 = $47,000

     This is more than a lot of people will make in a year. It is more money than some people will see in an entire lifetime, and a few overpriviledged students from one high school will use it to dance, buy fancy dresses that all look alike, and drink alcohol. Multiply this by some 10 high schools in London, and the figure comes to almost half a million. Half a million dollars is going to high school proms—the sheer insanity is staggering, is it not?

     It’s hypocritical and ironic that we will often fundraise for cancer research and starving children in Africa, yet we think nothing of spending $300 on a frilly dress that we’ll wear likely once. An alpaca costs approximately $350 (World Vision), and it can help a village in Africa (How, you ask? I don’t know. I will admit that I didn’t research that far. But my point is obvious). The irony is awesome. I’m not saying that I’m a perfect saint of any sort; I’m not. But if I were required to divert $47,000 to a high school prom or people in a third-world country in need, I think I would go for the third-world country, simply because it makes any sense at all.

     And another matter that seriously irks me. If a bunch of overprivileged high school kids want to have a party with fancy clothes, they should pay for it out of their own pockets, not “fundraise” for it from the community. It does not make sense that wealthy kids would take to the community and “fundraise”, diverting funds that could be better used elsewhere (ex. to help with the epidemic that is world hunger). Hey, if part of the money that went to prom could go to charity, I might even go along with it. But as it stands right now, prom is about as iniquitious as it gets.

     We’re high school students, not royalty. This entire generation takes themselves way too seriously (and I will admit that I have been guilty of the same crime at times). There will be plenty of other chances to dress up—weddings, charity balls (where part of the proceeds actually go to charity; what a foreign notion), etc. Prom is really unnecessary; teenagers do not need a ridiculously expensive night to fulfill their dreams of pretense and gross extravagance. Aren’t drunken houseparties more conventional anyway? It is rather ironic that proms have the intention of being elegant and sophisticated, yet in reality they truly are anything but.

     And before anyone pulls the “you’re just bitter since can’t get a date” line, there’s a really great guy in my life that I could theoretically drag to prom, but I will not torture him like that.

     I know that there are probably exceptions to all my horrible sweeping generalizations, because I’m sure that not all of the people in my life have fallen victim to this deluded fantasy. I’m going to go to preprom with my friends (if they don’t hate me after reading this. Hey guys, I like you, I promise. It’s nothing personal here!) to take pretty photos and whatnot, because the photography opportunity has to be the only upside to this entire mess. But no, I’m not going to pay a ridiculous sum of money for prom.

     Besides, doesn’t your conscience have something against going to a giant party funded by extortion from the community and illegal underage drinking parties? If it doesn’t, you have bigger problems.

     Of course, I also kind of have a problem with reflexive contrarianism. But that’s for another time.