Help Wanted

            “So, Caroline. Why don’t you start by telling us about yourself?”

I sip my vanilla soy latte, taking a moment to carefully construct my answer. “Well, I’m Carrie. West Coast born and raised, but I’m always following opportunities for personal and spiritual growth. I’m a born marketer and a creative free spirit, with a passion for all things digital and social media. Especially social media,” I smile brightly.

The blonde interviewer—Amy? Annie?—with the French manicure smiles encouragingly. Nailed it.

“Alright, Caroline. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Carousel Media is very excited to be interviewing you for this new position within our company. Now, can you elaborate on what part of the Digital Content Strategist role speaks to you, particularly at Carousel?”

I nod confidently. I am poise. “Yes, of course. Carousel Media is a company with a proven track record of excellence and high standards. I read about your recent decision to do away with the sandwich shop in your staff cafeteria and only source organic, vegan options for the new kale bar—I love that. Kale is my favourite food!”

Show that I’ve researched the company news lately? Check. “And of course, you work with so many up-and-coming fresh faces in the media world. So many bright young things can’t all be wrong!”

“Naturally. Well, clearly you’re very interested in Carousel,” says the other interviewer—rather primly, if you ask me. I don’t take it personally, though. I suspect that she is going through a rough patch—ifyouknowwhatImean. I understand. It can’t be very fun to suddenly start gaining wrinkles, especially when you work in media relations. It’s really a much more… youthful sort of work environment. I know I’d be a perfect fit.

She continues, “We’ve been around for a while, but we’re just beginning to build the digital arm of our operations, and we’re really excited about getting talented people into our content studios. What sort of experience do you have relating to the media industry?”  

I light up. This is the question I’ve been waiting for! I take a deep breath, “I’m all about cultivating a content culture. My friends would say that I’m a social media marketing maven, really. I’ve had a lot of practice. My Instagram photos regularly get over a hundred likes, even on no-makeup selfies. My Twitter account has a twenty-to-one follower-to-friend ratio. And my Facebook page doesn’t have a single unflattering photo on it! Of course, I would do the same for Carousel. You’d never have to worry about a bad piece of PR with me on your team,” I beam. “Oh, and I’m also a published writer! My work has been featured on top tier lifestyle journalism websites like Elite Daily and Vice, and I’ve learned a thing or two about the necessity of a catchy, somewhat misleading title. You just have to reel them in,” I grin. They know I’m right.

The pinched-looking one nods, looking down at her clipboard. I try to inconspicuously peer at her page—she’s got a copy of my résumé—but she shields it carefully from me. Honestly, she’s probably just overwhelmed with my credentials. It’s likely that they just aren’t used to seeing such initiative from new graduates. “Yes. It would seem that you spend a lot of time on social media conventions,” she says slowly.

I nod enthusiastically. “I love using social media to make new connections and cultivate my personal branding, but I’m especially passionate about using it to give back and help those in need. Last month, I started the hashtag #LoveMyselfMondays for Instagram selfies to raise awareness for mental health, since Mondays take even more of a toll on depressed people than the average person. We all have our struggles.” Demonstrate my superior emotional intelligence? Check.

Amy-maybe-Annie frowns pensively, while the other one scribbles furiously on her clipboard. “Yes, we do, don’t we? Hmm. Can you tell us about a professional leadership role that you’ve taken on, perhaps at your university or a previous job?” she asks.

 “Of course. Let’s see. Well, I founded the Wine and Cheese Society at my school. We were very successful in our operations. Our party—er, club—was the talk of the campus for weeks afterward. We were even featured in the news, and membership jumped 110% after our first social!” I add emphatically. People love to hear about the quantifiable results of your projects. I mean, sure, we were featured in the local paper for a not-so-flattering bit on underaged drinking on campus. But it wasn’t my fault. They will never know. Besides, bad publicity is better than no publicity—any good marketer knows that.

 “Well, that’s good to hear. Now, do you have any experience with photography or graphic design? We’re looking for creative people with a keen eye to work in a hybrid journalist-designer-storyteller role,” says Amy-maybe-Annie.  

“Multi-tasking is one of my top skills,” I tell her proudly. “As for graphic design? I think Inkwell or Mayfair are always the answer. I mean, I love all of the Instagram filters equally, but Mayfair is just particularly evocative. I mean, it speaks, you know? It really brings a photo to life. And for selfies in particular, I really enjoy Earlybird—it makes even my pale skin look bronze!” I giggle.

Amy-maybe-Annie stiffens. “Hmm. Yes, very good. Huh… hmm. Let’s see. Well, we’re all about creating an immersive marketing experience here at Carousel. Can you talk about how you would engage our audience in an advertising situation that would create a two-way conversation?”

 “Well…” I pause for a moment. This is a test, isn’t it? “Oh, I’ve got it! We can create a Carousel Snapchat account and tell people to add us, and then snap them an inside look at our operations. It’ll have a great reach, since everyone who matters has Snapchat these days,”

I think Amy-maybe-Annie looks sort of impressed with my idea, even if the other woman does not—no surprise. She probably hasn’t even heard of Snapchat. “Thanks, Caroline. We haven’t heard that one before, actually. So as I’m sure you know, Carousel is a global brand. Another of our strategic imperatives is to tap into emerging markets that may have different social norms. Can you give us an example of a time when you were a global citizen? Or maybe tell us about a time when you tried something out of your comfort zone?” Amy-maybe-Annie looks up expectantly.

Well, I didn’t know that Carousel existed outside of the city, actually. I nod anyway. “When I was sixteen, I sacrificed our usual family cruise to travel to Peru with my classmates, where we got to take a tour through the orphanages and make friends with underprivileged kids. It was a really eye-opening experience, and at the end, this little girl gave me her favourite doll!” I show them the colorful little wooden doll keychain hanging from my purse. The brown-haired interviewer looks horrified. Snob.

Amy-maybe-Annie sighs, as if it has been a long day. I don’t blame her—who would want to be stuck here on a Friday afternoon? “Let’s see. Why should we hire you for this job over all of the other candidates?” she asks.

I frown. “That’s a tough one, considering that I don’t know the other candidates.” They both look confused. “I mean, how am I supposed to tell you what makes me better than them if I don’t know them?” My iPhone lets out its signature chirping sound from my Coach bag. I reflexively move to check it, but stop myself in time.  

The ladies exchange a look. “Rebecca, I think our time is about up?” Amy-maybe-Annie asks her counterpart. I don’t recall the other lady ever saying her name before, but it’s all been such a blur. Whew. I dodged a bullet on that question!

Rebecca nods, rather stiffly. I really think that is just her natural posture. Maybe I should recommend my chiropractor to her. Would that earn me brownie points? “Yes, it’s been a busy day for both of us. Caroline, it’s been great fun chatting with you,” she smiles—though with all her wrinkles, it comes out as more of a grimace. All that smiling really can’t be good for her.

“Oh, please. It’s been so much fun getting to know Carousel Media,” I flash them my most winning smile.

“Of course. Do you have any questions for us?” asks Rebecca politely.

“Yes,” I lean in and lower my voice. “What is the company attitude toward promotions and advancement?”

Rebecca looks surprised. I guess they weren’t expecting such initiative for someone interviewing for an entry-level position. Amy-maybe-Annie jumps in, “We take… a rather conservative approach to our hiring and promotions decisions. It’s hard to say for sure—we really approach everything on a case-by-case basis. We feel that it shows respects for each individual employee—you understand, I’m sure.”

“Of course, I understand. Well, have a lovely day, ladies. Don’t work too hard on a Friday afternoon—it’s gorgeous outside!” I trill as I shake their hands one last time before heading out into the metropolitan sunshine.

They told me that I would hear from them very soon. I have my ringer on as loud as possible to ensure that I won’t miss the call!